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If you recall, I wrote previously about how important the words we use are. But it’s not just the words we use, it’s also important that you’re aware of who speaks those words…that voice in your head which is probably the one reading this to you right now 😉
It’s one reason why many people struggle to meditate when they first get started – because they can’t quieten their mind and shut that voice up! And the harder they try, the louder and more vocal it gets, and the more frustrated you get…
“Oooh look how dirty the ceiling looks. Ugh this is so hard. I wonder how long it’s been. This is sooooo boring. I’m rubbish at meditation. I told you I couldn’t do it“. Chatter, chatter, chatter…All. Day. Long.
If you can use meditation to learn to quieten the voice(s), that’s great; but what if you can’t/won’t? Then a good option is to learn to work with that voice, and/or better control it and your response to it.
When you let it, it can be a pretty powerful voice causing all sorts of feelings of shame, guilt, fear, inadequacy, worthlessness and more. And yet…it’s only a voice, right? Why are you giving it so much power?
Become more acquainted with the voice…
It will serve you very well if you begin to pay a bit more attention to that voice:
- Whose voice is it? Is it your voice or the voice of someone else?
- Is it masculine or feminine?
- Is it kind or not?
- Is it loud or quiet?
- What kind of accent does it have?
- How and when does it change?
Can you give it (the voice) a name that is different from your name? Can you separate it from you?
It’s useful to be able to do this because sometimes (often, for many people), the voice can be less than kind…
- Who the f*** do you think you are to do/think/be that?
- What on earth will people think of me if I do that?
- Why did I even think I could do that?
- I’m/you’re so stupid/thick/fat/thin/weak/
Being able to separate that voice from you and/or understanding whose voice you’re hearing is a useful first step…
Start practising this now – whenever you become aware and notice the voice in your head (hint: It’s there ALL the time!), start disassociating it from yourself.
- Give it a name.
- Talk to it as if it’s a separate person.
- Have a conversation with it
…very soon you’ll become far more conscious of the times when that voice is useful to you and when it’s not.
Taking the power away from that voice…
When that voice becomes less useful – destructive and negative, even – change the voice and make it sound like Bugs Bunny or something/someone similarly laughable, or put on your most whiny, annoying voice – and then repeat the words OUT LOUD to yourself.
You’ll find the voice has far less impact and power if the bugs bunny voice is the one telling you how useless you are, and you hear just how annoying and whiny your own whiny, annoying voice is!
This exercise and practice is about perspective – about shifting your perspective and learning to better control the inputs you’re letting in to your mind (or some might say the outputs of your mind).
The more consciously aware you become of the voice that currently controls/expresses your thoughts, the more control you’ll gain over it.
If you’d like to explore more techniques and tools like this, why not join the next group of The Game-Changer Experience →